Many parents are proud of their children. When they are smart or they excel in certain areas of life, The parents' face shine and they feel conforted or elated. Was it the parents' pursuit of knowledge, achievements and excellence or the child?
Echos of the past:
"Johnny, will you stop playing the utensils at the dining table? The chop sticks are not drumsticks.... stop it!!"
"Ricky, you got fifth in the class again? Look at your neighbour school results, she is top in the whole school again this year........."
"Mommy, I want to buy this...... (No), I want to buy, I want to buy, I want, I want........"
"Can you stop keeping riceball in your mouth?"
"The Headmaster called again, why do you want to hit others and get caught? Tonight, you going to see how I going to......"
"Ma, can you stop going through into my things......I don't have any privacy"
"Your cousin already learnt and grade 6 on piano, your schedule has one more slot."
"Why are you so rebellious, talk to you don't answer properly or ignore me.....you know how hard I work......."
"Joe, can you please come out to eat? You have been with the computer from morning till night!"
ABC#@Z, cover your ears....this is not for you to learn!
How do the above sound to you? Are your children not singing in tune with you? Look deep into their eyes, is the sparkle still there?
Then one of this can happen:
"Whipped", this sound suddenly ended on the buttocks of your son.......I told you before......
"No more pocket money for you tomorrow until you learn your mistake"
"Don't talk to me, I'm very disappointed with your attitude"
Maybe more different forms of punishments follow.
Children are beautiful and unique. You may feel proud or happy that he carries some or all of your genes. And is doing you proud in front of your friends/ relatives or school. What if not? Are you going to feel sad or disappointed?
Quite a few asked me: "Is it true that its possible that when my son is born, he 克 me? " My answer was, "Indeed he does." (the fact of some cases) There are frowning faces when I disclosed. Nowadays I prefer to ask back a question: "If you know that you 克 him instead, what do you want to do or how you feel?"
So why don't you first hear what your children share with a stranger/ counsellor (their inner feelings):
" I like to steal things to relieve my stress for being scolded useless"
"When everyday I have to do so much homework to sometimes have to finish after midnight and my mommy has so high expectations, I'll just cry in the toilet when bathing.
"When my Daddy scolded me lazy, I feel very sad and just wanted to hide under the blanket"
"Little bit of things get scolded, don't know whether I was born of him"
" <SILENCE>" only from your child.
.....To be continued
To help your children or yourselves, its not just merely reading some parenting books or the advise of the educators or professionals. Elements are complex and all living under the same roof need constant adjustments and understanding. If you have tried and exhausted most avenues of help, you may want to take a break at this stop here, try to understand and remedy from another area of knowledge or see from another angle.
Each child has his own unique character. Not according to your expections? You can let it slip into darkness or you can help him to steer clear of danger. A ball can roll any sides, it depends on the person who rolls it. Problematic character? To another mom, he could be a precious gem.
Take a look back when you are, say 10, were you matured enough for certain actions or responsible enough for an adult life? You probably had your own pace of time to grow. Can feng shui help your child? Yes.
.......To be continued
Parents are always concern over their children's studies. So what if your children's studies are not good?
You can use feng shui to help your child.
I have visited thousands of homes. Quite a number have pagoda to activate "Wen Chang" for their kids studies. Does it work? So why after placing the pagoda, your kid's studies still show no improvements. This is actually base on an old school feng shui taking into consideration of landforms. It is inaccurately assumed into the society without proven effective results in this period.